


so now i'm on my tip toes, trying to see past my ego

by homobirb



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Mental Breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 07:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16404059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homobirb/pseuds/homobirb
Summary: "Joker!" Oracle's voice rings in his ear. "There's something wrong with Crow!"





	so now i'm on my tip toes, trying to see past my ego

**Author's Note:**

> college kinda killed me recently, but i think i finally finished this!! god i have so many pwp wips
> 
> title taken from [tip toes by half alive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjJ72vHad1k)

"Joker!" Oracle's voice rings in his ear. "There's something wrong with Crow!"

"What do you mean?" Akira asks. He casts Mabufula on the group of Anubis shadows they are currently facing off.

"I don't know!"

He risks a glance over at his teammate—Crow stands to his left. He doesn't notice anything off at first, but then Crow tries to summon Robin Hood by ripping off his mask and it just... crumbles in his hand.

Akira isn't sure what to make of the situation. Neither is anyone else, including their enemies. The remaining two Anubis shadows look bewildered, but their attacks pause. Akechi looks stunned, his gloved hand closing into a fist. When he opens it again, the rest of the mask—now entirely red dust—slips through his fingers.

His eyes meet Akira's; then, Akechi throws his head back and screams. It's loud and nearly earsplitting. Crow's gloved hands scratch all over his face, and it doesn't take long for blood to start dripping down. _Shit._ This is bad. He needs to step in before anything bad can happen. He tries to rush to his teammate's side, only to be knocked down by a massive energy wave. He isn't sure what the attack would be classified as; it seemed to just be ripples of power emanating from the teen's body. And although it didn't hurt, per se, Akira didn't want to wait for them to become lethal.

He tries again. He's able to make it a couple more steps before the force pushes him back. He barely notices the shadows slipping out in the confusion, but he does notice the rest of his team merely standing there, watching.

"Isn't anyone going to do anything?" He tries to shout over Crow's screams.

Oracle brings up her persona's screens, trying to analyze the situation. "W-what should we do?!"

"I don't know, but we can't just leave him!" Akira grits his teeth and tries to leap forward, to hopefully tackle the detective to the ground. He's slammed backward, skidding and rolling on the ground until he comes to rest about twenty feet away. He spits on the ground and pushes himself up. One glance at his team shows they're all awkwardly fidgeting and watching him. _Dammit._ He needs to do something, or Crow might take them all out here. The detective's entire face is covered in blood, and his hands have moved to claw at his neck. No, he might take himself out, and somehow Akira decides that's worse. He needs to do something, anything, he tries to think, eyes scanning over his surroundings until—"Ann! Cast Dormina!"

"Is that really going to help...?" Makoto asks.

"We'll talk later, just do it!"

Ann looks apprehensive, but she nods once. "Carmen!"

As soon as the spell is cast, Akechi's hands drop from his throat and the waves of energy weaken significantly. He sways on his feet, stumbling forward before crumpling entirely to the ground. The energetic ripples sputter and fizzle out until they completely fade; it's quiet as Akechi lies on the casino floor in an unmoving heap.

Akira heaves out a shaky sigh.

The thieves are uncharacteristically quiet as Akira gets up and walks over to his fallen teammate. Akechi's chest rises and falls with breath, and Akira lets out another sigh. He can think about how he's going to deal with an awake detective later—right now, the priorities, in order, are: move him to a safe room, clean and heal his wounds, restrain him should he freak out again upon waking and injure himself or others, and wake the teen up to figure out what the hell just happened.

He delegates Futaba to guide the way to the nearest safe room. Akira carries Akechi, bridal-style, careful to try not to jostle the sleeping teen too much. His muscles scream at him and he's exhausted, but he's the leader and needs to take care of his teammates. Even the teammates planning on betraying him later. What kind of leader would he be if he didn't? The detective was on their team for now and so he couldn't just abandon his role. Besides, no one deserves to be alone, especially after... that.

No one makes a peep the entire journey. The thieves trail behind him, with only Futaba leading in front. He can feel their questioning stares boring into his back, but he doesn't care. He's running on adrenaline and emergency decisions—rational thought can come later.

Thankfully, the safe room is but a several minute walk away. Yusuke holds the door open for him and he starts to walk in, the group following him. Akira pauses, then turns around. "I'm not sure if it's a good idea to surround him so soon."

"Are you suggesting we leave you two alone? I'm not going to even begin telling you why I don't think that's safe," Makoto says. Her arms are crossed.

"You're right. Panther, come with me."

Ann squeaks. "Me? No offense, but why me?"

"Because if he gets to be too much, you can just knock him out again."

She hums a noise of understanding. "Alright."

Makoto is staring intently at him. She doesn't say anything, but her look tells all: _We're going to talk about this later._ Akira nods once and turns back into the room, with Ann trailing behind him.

Once the door clicks shut, he works quickly, setting Akechi down on the couch. The teen's white costume poofs into his normal detective clothes, which he's partially appreciative of—Akechi has a pair of handcuffs in his back pocket. He twists Akechi's arms behind him and clasps the cuffs around his wrists, pocketing the key in his own coat. "Ann, could you work on healing his face?"

She does so silently. The scratches along Akechi's face close up, the blood magically drying up.

Akira resituates himself several steps in front of the couch. Ann sits on the table behind him.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Just give me the signal if you need me to step in."

He nods once. His hands almost tremble as he reaches into his pocket to grab an Alert Capsule. The cap pops off with a small hiss before bathing the room with light. Akechi begins to stir as the capsule fizzes out.

The detective groans, sitting up. His wrists clink behind him and his head jerks up, eyes wide. Akechi's gaze meets Akira's and he opens his mouth, sucking in a deep breath—Akira, without thinking, closes the distance and firmly places his hand over the detective's mouth, sealing it closed.

They stare at each other for several beats. He can almost hear Akechi's staccato heartbeat, hear the gears in his head turning. The teen pulls back, face morphed into a scowl and turned to the right, hissing out a small, " _Don't_ touch me."

"Are you going to start screaming again?"

"I- no, I'm not."

Akira takes a half-step back, hand dropping down. He slips his hands into his pockets and just watches as Akechi pulls at his restrained arms.

"I suppose there's a reason why I'm currently handcuffed with my own handcuffs. Mind explaining?" The detective has taken upon his TV persona with a small, mirthless laugh.

"Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing." The reply is out of his mouth before he can fully think it through. He only mildly regrets it, when Akechi responds with narrowed eyes and a tiny head tilt. 

"What do you—oh my god." The detective cuts himself off with a snicker, flopping against the back of the couch. "That actually just happened... didn't it. It wasn't just a bad dream."

"No, it wasn't." He pulls his hands out his pockets and runs a hand through his hair. "What _was_ that, by the way?"

Akechi regards him with a curious look, then narrows his eyes and sneers. "You mean you haven't figured it out yet? I expected more, especially from the leader of the Phantom Thieves." He stands up and Akira finds himself suddenly advanced upon, Akechi in his face. "You do know I was planning on killing you... right? I was going to shoot your little brain out and smile as I watch the blood splatter drip down the wall, you attic trash. And then I was going to kill all your friends, one by one-"

"Akechi." Akira puts his hands on the detective's shoulders and pushes him back a step. "I think that's enough."

"I'm not finished. After cutting off the head of the snake, the body would writhe uselessly. Similarly, your friends would all be lost and it would be an absolute cakewalk to watch the life leave each of their eyes, to just snap their necks or slip them a poison or-"

"Akechi, I said _that's enough._ " The words escape his throat in a growl. The teen looks up at him with a crazed smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

"Oh? Have I upset you? Why don't you take it out on me. Go on, punch me. Spit on me. Bend me over the table and fuck me in front of your friends. I can't fight back-" the handcuffs jangle behind him. "-so you might as well go all out. Before I'm able to rip your goddamn throat out." 

__Akechi looks up at him with narrowed eyes, sweat glistening on his face, breath coming in small pants. Akira just stares at him, mind working overtime to process what exactly the teen just said, his own mouth only able to utter the words, "What the fuck." He pushes Goro back onto the couch and steps back until he hits one of the chairs pulled out from the table, sitting before he's able to contemplate anything else._ _

__"Why do you think I would- oh." His stomach tightens into a knot. He's not prepared for this kind of conversation—he's always ready to be the shoulder to cry on, the helpful confidant for any of his friends, offering well-timed leading questions and words of praise to encourage each person to reach their own positive conclusions about their identities, their abilities, their situations. But Akira doesn't know how to deal with _this,_ deal with someone so obviously hurting and lashing out in the only way they know, by spitting venomous words in his face. How do you help someone who pushes you away?_ _

__He's still contemplating this question when Akechi speaks up. "Let me teach you something, _dear leader._ " The detective spits on the ground. "In this world, there is no kindness. Every action is done with ulterior motives. Anticipatory retribution, for someone's inevitable betrayal. And this, our temporary relationship, me joining the team?" His voice drops into a low rumble. "Was just to get me closer so I could stab you in the back better."_ _

__"You're an asshole, you know that?" Ann's words from behind him startle them both, Akechi nearly jumping off the couch._ _

__"It's called survival-"_ _

__Ann cuts him off with a small wave. "Akira has shown you nothing but kindness since you two first met. And now, he saves your life and you repay him by acting like a jerk?"_ _

__"You know nothing."_ _

__"No, I don't. So why don't we all sit down and talk this over civilly, without the death threats? Akira has helped every single one of us get out of bad situations and I'm sure he can help you, too."_ _

__"I'm not a damsel, I don't need saving-"_ _

__"Oh my god, just shut up already."_ _

__For once, Akechi looks shocked into silence. His mouth opens and closes, as if he's thinking of replying but changes his mind. He turns his head away, face flushed._ _

__It's enough time for Akira to recompose himself, figuratively splashing cool water onto his face. He slips the handcuff key out of his pocket and strides over to sit on the couch. The detective shifts away from him, avoiding his gaze. Akira doesn't push it, doesn't want Akechi to suffer anymore. So he unlocks the handcuffs._ _

__Akechi doesn't look at him, but he rubs his (most likely sore) wrists. Akira is quick to push a thermos into his hands. "Coffee," he explains. He takes off his coat and drapes it over Akechi's shoulders. "Ann's right. I think we should talk about what happened. And... I'm sorry for being rude earlier."_ _

__The detective regards him with wide eyes. "I-... thank you."_ _

__"So... your mask. Is Robin Hood...?"_ _

__"I'm not... I don't know." Akechi's grip on the thermos tightens. "I have another persona—Loki—and I can feel him, but... it's weak."_ _

__"Should we ask Morgana?" Ann asks. "He's the one who knows the most about the metaverse out of all of us."_ _

__Akira looks to the teen next to him. "Is that okay? Bringing everyone in, I mean."_ _

__"Since when has what I wanted made a difference?"_ _

__"Since you joined the team."_ _

__Akechi tilts his head and opens his mouth as if to say something, before his eyebrows knit together and his mouth slowly shuts. He's not sure whether the teen is on the verge of crying, big eyes blinking rapidly. Either way, he slips him a handkerchief from his pocket and says, "It's okay if you're not ready."_ _

__"No, I-... let's do it now. I'm okay."_ _

__He ought to call out the lie. He doesn't, and sends Ann to retrieve the others. But he does lean into Akechi and whispers, "It's okay if you're not okay. We're here for you. I'm here for you." The detective doesn't respond, at least vocally; he takes a sip of the coffee and hugs Joker's jacket closer to him._ _

__And if Akechi doesn't believe him, he'll just keep repeating it until he does._ _

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](https://itshomobirb.tumblr.com/) and [my twitter](https://twitter.com/homobirb)


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